Mind your own business !!

 

Last week I discussed one of the subtle traits that keep us from happiness: Justifying yourself. Continuing, let’s get to the second subtle trait that takes us away from Happiness; minding other people’s business.

We have always heard this phrase; mind your own business. Most notable in a negative connotation when asking other people about some parts they don’t want to share. To be honest, no one likes to hear that phrase. The immediate reaction is “I care and hence I ask”. But that's not the whole picture. My continuous introspection led me to believe that Minding my own business is really the secret to my happiness.

Let’s dive in, Minding your own business doesn’t only mean not asking other people about their business, it actually means thinking about your own business. So many times our mind is filled with stuff other people are doing. What is he doing? What is she getting? Is she getting more than me? Why isn’t he answering me? Why wasn’t I invited to his/ her party? Can you relate to these? We think these thoughts and only muddy our own mind. By thinking about others, we put them in the pedestal of our minds. And let me tell you, no matter what, you should be on pedestal of your mind. So stop minding other people’s business and start minding your own. Also, you cannot control others, so get away from trying that by thinking about them J

Another aspect of minding other people’s business is actually a little scary. So many times, I have sat in front of TV and watched horror going around the world. And then I start worrying about the world and then I start feeling bad at all the plight and misery and then one thought leads to other and finally I am going down the sadness spiral. We need to stop it. Reasons being,

a)       We actually cannot solve all the world problems.

b)      Bad thoughts cannot solve bad things. Have you ever heard of using darkness to eliminate darkness?

Have sympathy for people, but don’t change that into worry. You are not going to help people who are in trouble by dropping down to their troubled life. You will only help troubled people by being an example of leading a trouble free life. Remember this!!

So what should I do? To begin with, just like last time, don’t jump into any change. Slowly start monitoring your thoughts. And when you feel that you are thinking about a situation involving others a lot, try to logic as to why you are thinking about it so much? Is your life and present moment worth it? Are you trying to compare yourself or gain acceptance from someone? Most of the times, the answer will be in one of these questions. Using logic will give you extra strengths to quit thinking about that situation and do something else.

Secondly, try to stay away from bad news. Ignorance is bliss and in this case there is nothing bad about this ignorance. Get your house in order first before thinking about world problems. You know why so many protests fail and lead to more disaster? It’s because people protesting don’t have their own shit together. And hence, what protestors are actually doing is to bring their own insecurities up and express them in terms of protests. Remember, you worrying about world issues from comfort of your sofa is not going to help. What going to help is you not being part of those issues. Someone said it right, best way to help poor is not be one!!!

To conclude, keep on minding your own business and stop looking into other people’s business. The more you will focus on your business, the more you will start living in the present and the happier you will be. You will also start focusing on your own desires and wishes. You will have more energy to work towards them and eventually you will start shining and smiling.

Be so good at minding your own business that people should ask you to mind their business……

- Happy Omie